Swingers lifestyle: the norm or erotic deviations

Role reversal in sex is a fairly common practice, but the issue is not for wide discussion.

Most straight adult people find the idea of exchanging their sexual passion to be unethical and permissive and immoral. On the other hand, if such an "exchange" occurs by mutual agreement and brings happiness and satisfaction to the participants, then everything is not so bad to discover swinger lifestyle.

Is it possible to consider the mode of swingers' behavior as the norm and what is its essence we will understand further.

Swinging experience misconception

American psychotherapist Eric Berne believes that swinger relationships are reminiscent of a psychological sexual game that cannot be considered love in its classical sense. More honest and safer in terms of mental and sexual health is the traditional, openly existing polygamy in a number of countries. The situation when a man has several official wives implies not only sexual pleasures, but also responsibility, including material, for the life of these women. In other words, if you think that one wife is not enough, accept Islam or Buddhism.

Dr. Robert McGinley describes swing as "the way a man and woman have sex when they find other couples or individuals with the same interests that they would like to connect with, be around and, in addition, have a sexual relationship." That is, swinging is a sexual practice that involves sexual relations with another pair and single people.

Pointed lifestyle is a compromise between the hippie free love philosophy and family values. This way of life unites both seemingly completely different cultures with opposite values.

Who are swingers sexual partners

Most often, swingers become couples who are bored with family routine and sex, but at the same time they do not want to change anything in their lives. A sexologist recommends that some of them try swinging, but again, in the interests of maintaining family relationships and marriage. However, a prerequisite for this is the mutual consent of the spouses.

Many swingers, who have chosen this philosophy believe that such a sexual experience has made their marriages stronger, and relationships more transparent and honest than in monogamous unions with secret infidelities and jealousy.

If one of them is against such experiments, then swinging will only exacerbate the couple's problems and add mental problems.

How to define whether swinging is the lifestyle for you

Relationships such as swing are often evolved and referred to as non-monogamy, which can take many forms:

• married and/or heterosexual;
• in a committed relationship;
• open to engaging in sexual activity with other people;
• the desire to have a common experience with your lover.

However, there are differences between Open Relationship vs. Polyamory. Couples who are open to swinging do not mean they are open to relationships with anyone.

The main difference from polygamy and open relationships is precisely in the mutual consent of participants within the couple who agree to a joint experiment and do not plan to permanently change their legal partner, but are looking for only equivalent joint sensations on a trusting basis.

According to Swinger Social Network statistics, between 2 and 4% of marital unions practice this type of sexual relationship.

Practice swinger lifestyle: everything you need to know about swinging

The golden rule of these relations is a clear line between love and sex. These concepts are not mixed in any way, since it is more about getting emotions from sex. In this case, sex is a momentary physiological pleasure in a certain place with a specific person or several. Love is a feeling of attachment to one passion, including not only sexual pleasure, but also other higher spiritual values.

In the event that some couples break up as a result of the practice of swinger life style, then we are talking about the fact that momentary passion is placed above spiritual relationships.

According to Melanson, there are also several types of partner exchanges that swingers practice.

With a closed swing, couples, having exchanged partners, have sex separately from each other, and with an open swing, in close proximity, seeing each other.

Light - soft swap

Couples have sex in close proximity to each other, changing partners only for foreplay. "Some couples like to start off with a gentle exchange to get their feet wet, so to speak, while others simply prefer to keep intercourse for their romantic relationship," says Melancon, the level at which a couple is willing to exchange may be related to preference and health problems.

Heavy - full swap

Partner swapping includes most sexual activities, including sexual acts. It can also be hardcore role-playing in a BDSM scenario if the partisipants agree to it, but in this case, the liaisons should not be casual.

Basic rules of swinger couple life

The swinging lifestyle should suit two persons in a pair, it is unacceptable for one to agree under authority or pressure. The decision is made in a balanced and coordinated manner, and each participant follows the rules.

The whole culture of partner exchange is controlled precisely by agreements within the couple. As a rule, when going to a swinger party, they come together and, regardless of the circumstances, also leave together. This is called an ethical standard and a prerequisite. However, this does not apply to other party participants and it is quite acceptable for them to have men and women who did not come as a couple.

In each pair, rules are agreed in advance - permissible and unacceptable actions, agreed and approved by all participants.

How to know what you're suitable for swinger life

If you haven't figured it out and can't decide exactly which relationships and experiments are right for you, consider whether you need a joint experience with your partner, and then swing will be the best solution. Or you want your own sexual freedom and independence, a surge of sexual energy and change. In this case, a non-monogamous relationship will suit you.

What you need to start swinger lifestyle

1. Explore new you're interested

Tell your partner about your relationship and sex preferences.

If you have come to the conclusion that swinging is the best option for you, then tell your soul mate about it, and spend time explaining and agreeing on rules and limits, feelings and needs.

And note that getting a "yes" from your passion is critical sexually. Both partners should be equally interested in this lifestyle and accept the rules. If one partner is insecure or only doing it to make their partner happy, it will cause emotional pain and possible breakup rather than sexual arousal and pleasure. Both should enjoy such a swingers life style.

2. Feel free to talk about all your needs and feelings

Talking is normal, but given the new experience, you should do it as often as possible, do not be afraid to discuss limitations and protect your personal space. Letting more people into your circle, you must remain true to your feelings and listen to them. At first, you yourself may not expect that you will like something, but something will cause negative emotions. This applies to many situations, such as when you are having oral sex but not having intercourse") and preference (for example, "It was unpleasant for me to see my partner having sex with a stranger). You may not expect a certain action from yourself.

It is also important to be aware of safe sex, especially in swinging where you have sex with multiple counterparts.

3. Take small steps for non-monogamy

You can try the swinger lifestyle starting with soft swings, taking the relationship to the extreme and hard swinging with different sex positions. Plunging into this style of sexual relations, you can determine for yourself what they should be and what you want - whether it's sexual release, new emotions, a feeling of sexuality and playfulness.

How to join a swinger community

There are also various swinger clubs and communities for couples and single. Members of such swinging activities are quite ordinary people, with a traditional way of life, who come to get a portion of sexual emotional release.

The format of various parties, whether it be BDSM, theme or swing parties, does not lose its popularity and fans, on the contrary, more people want to join and try new sexual roles.

Parties tend to be of different types and with different rules for participants.

Group party (mass orgy). The number of participants in such events can be both large (50-100 people), and for a certain narrow circle of people (confidential party for the elite). Parties are attended by both "loners" - people who came alone in search of something new, and couples who want to exchange partners or invite a third to their union. Here the desire is important - to have sex, without restrictions. People come from different sexual orientations. There are no safe sex practices here and no boundaries.

Family Party. With this format, only strong couples are invited (sometimes the organizers even check the presence of a stamp on the passport). In family parties, the sympathy of the group members is significant, because they will have to exchange their spouses with each other. There are rarely "stray" here and consensual flirting is allowed.

Gang Bang – also an orgy, but here already one woman satisfies several men at the same time. Not only couples, but also single men can come to such parties. Keep in mind that if you came with a lady, then most likely she will try on the role of that very woman-satisfier. It is mostly unprotected sex with no taboo is that case.

BDSM - Party. It does not do without role-playing with submission and the use of appropriate accessories. If you are not ready for such experiments, then it is better to try a more classic version of sexual pleasure.

One of the main rules of any themed sex party is participation, not observation. You didn't come to spy on people or your partner, but to have fun, so don't stand by. Don't be afraid to approach those who attract you and compliment, play and have fun.

If no one likes or excites you, it is better to refuse participation immediately, even before everyone has undressed and indulged in entertainment.

In the case when you are tired of what is happening or got what you wanted, then you need to leave such parties unnoticed and with your partner.

Swinger party clothing and behavior boundaries

For themed parties and swingers lifestyle, harness lingerie is best solution. They go well with clothes and also look beautiful on a naked body. From individual elements (sconces, leather garters, choker collars), you can independently make sets to your taste. Another advantage of harness for parties is its sexuality and eroticism, versatility.

Also, if you want to keep incognito, you can use a mask of a cat or a gentle bunny, which will also go well with a leather harness.